October 13 2012: The Three Families

What does a person who has been disconnected from his family in every aspect of his life have to say to anybody about family values? Let me break down my life a little bit for you. I was born with in 1985, from there we have neglect and abuse to the point where a 2 year old is found with a broken leg. Needless to say after an investigation, my twin sister and I were taken into protective services. If my memory serves me correctly we had 3 foster families. While with one foster family we were subject to some of the harshest treatments of children I have ever heard. We got taken away from that family after someone notice bruises on me from being beaten every 5 minutes to a timer. I am not exaggerating even in the slightest. Not to mention what my sister with through. At this time she was the only constant thing in my life. I felt I had to be strong for her and that continued as this story does. 1990 we were finally adopted, upon adoption you would expect and think that it was all good but now enters mental abuse. Not until we got to be teenagers did it really start, the paranoia that we as a family (Not just my twin and me) had to endure is ridiculous. To have to cater to an adult’s emotional needy ass is outrageous as a child. What is going on with my body?  How am I going to pass my class? What are we going to do this weekend? I wonder if she likes me. Oh and damn is my dad looking through the classroom window? I truly know what it means to be stalked, to have your phone bugged, to have people ask you is that your dad over there behind that tree? I wish this was a joke but it’s all true. The only way we were considered a family was that we all had a common goal of not being a target to my father’s distrust and we were very trust worthy people.  Nobody had anybody’s back in our family. People at school didn't know I had an older brother that went to the same school. People would always be surprised to find out. I guess my loyalty comes from me being with my sister so much even when I didn’t think she would ever take the fall for me. I've gotten plenty of beating for my sister but that’s my twin, my heart. Upon completion of high school I was blamed for all of my sister’s behavior even though I wasn't getting in trouble yet. I was told that the only reason I got adopted was because my sister had a twin and they didn’t want to split us up. I was told this several several times despite awesomeness oozing out of my pours. It didn’t stop when I moved out to go to college with no help from anybody. I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know how to cook, wash dishes or clothes. These are facts that people know about me. I’m marvelous at cooking now; I’ve come a long way from the fire of 04” (maybe I’ll tell you about it one day). Dishes and clothes… meh… I’ve figured some middle ground in achieving medium cleanliness. Whites just aren’t that white these days. Anywho I got a chance to speak to my real parents and the lies that came out of their mouths were incredible. I don’t mind you lying (really do mind) when I ask you something, but don’t invite me to your lies. If I don’t ask you about something than don’t tell me especially if it’s the elephant in the room. Let it go, I don’t want to know about whatever happen 20 some odd years ago. I’m okay I’ve made it through that fire, trying not to get burnt but the fire in front of me. Needless to say my dreams have been stepped on over and over by my family members I don’t really want to go into details at this time but just trust that I have had a horrible example of the type of family I will have one day. One filled with love and support for who you are as a person. I will be my children’s and my wife’s biggest supporter. I will invest in my family because I know that it matters. The time you spend with your family matters. Every second matters. I never wanted to work a job so much that I neglect my family. I’d take family over money any day. Life is not about hording the most money. Life is about feeling love and expressing love, tending to wounds with companions and understanding. Not being judgmental and promoting individualism. I want my kids to know that it is okay to be who they are. As long as I’m around I’ll protect my family like a man is supposed to, I’ll tell my wife and kids I love them as many times as I think of it. My kids will be raised with hugs and kisses and if they want to be a painter they can be a painter, if they want to be the first person on Mars, we’re going to figure out how to make it happen. I don’t understand how people lose sight of what is important. You can’t replace that feeling you get when someone looks into your eyes and tell you they love you or even without them saying anything, just that look and you know what it is. We have a big responsibility to promote a new way of living that brings us back to the family. You can’t depend on money it comes and it goes. I’m not knocking people with money but if you’re not about that family, if you don’t have anybody to share it with than what’s the point? Really what is the point? That’s what I wanted to say about family, I know what it is and what it means

With all that being said about family and all the experiences I went through with them I have to give a huge huge huge thank you to my friends who have supported me in whatever craziness I’ve been involved in. I honestly could not have made it very far if I didn’t have the support of people who looked inside me and saw that my every intention was an attempt to be good. I thank them for see my light and wanting it to shine. I love them and they are my true family. I don’t know if my family reads this blog but I know my friends do and truly love ya’ll to death <3

Oh Yeah one of my friends birthday is today... Happy Birthday Kartis :)