S2: Companionshit

I don't really know how to start this but I know what I want to say so I'm going to be like Lindsay Lohan in "Mean Girls" and word vomit all over this post. I know that was gross but here it goes. What's wrong with "it’s just not going to work out"? Why is it so hard to commit to “well we tried and it didn't work"? I'm not just talking about love relationship or interaction; I’m talking about friendships and partnerships as well. You may not be like me, but I'm willing to bet, most of you are. After that bond is cut to the point of "we're not talking anymore" why is it so hard to just leave it be cut. I think as I've gotten older it has gotten harder. As much as I know we're not going to make it, I always want to text, call, tweet, send a Facebook message, whatever. It is 100% every time a bad idea. You don't get any higher than that.

Okay so while I was writing I actually formed some kind of answer to my own question. Sometimes it happens like that. My brain said that in every interaction, person or thing, we attract in our lives. Not just on my part but both parts. I attract you or it, and it or you attract me. Which means there’s a need, at some point, for that person or thing. So when we initially "try things out" and things don't work out, it’s not necessarily the person we don't like but maybe we have “out needed” or “out grown” that attraction. Okay look I don't have all the answers so I don't know if this is the answer but that is what my brain told me. I'm rolling with it. You can choose to get whatever you want out of it. Thank you for enduring my unconstructed thoughts.

S2: How Many of Us Have Them?

Not many things are universal, even though I think most things should be. An example would be words. Form what I know, no matter where you go in the word "blue" means "blue", "morning" means morning"  But words like "bad", and "blood" have different meaning. (Please excuse the lack of creativity In my examples I can't think right now). I feel like other things should have universal meanings too. Like the definition of love, reality, and friendship. These definitions are not even common locally. Do you know how much easier love would be if there was a universal definition. What about friendship? The definition of a good or bad friend would be automatic and crossing certain lines would have clear intentions. Which brings me to my point. What is the ultimate betrayal or wrong decision that means "We ain't gone be friends no more."? I feel like it should have a universal meaning or stance. When you do "________" and/ or"_______" (fill in the blank) it means our friendship is over. I have a couple of friendships that have stood the test of time and immaturity. But I've had a whole lot of friendships that have ended. Some ended because of something I did, but the majority was because of something they did and I always told people why we are not friends anymore. About six months ago I did this mass eviction of friends. A total over-haul in my effort to find more respect and love for and from myself. People were angry and didn't understand. I made a few mistakes the way I went about ending some of these friendships (which I later apologized for). But in the end it had to be done. Most, if not all, were pretty toxic or just unhealthy. As much as I wanted certain people I'm my life, I had to have it on my terms. I needed respect and love, and it wasn't fair to me to not receive either of them, especially from those I called my friends.



I have disagreements with people all the time. I'm a very passionate person about everything I'm involved in or care about. Friendships included. Sometimes things happen rather intentional or unintentional. Sometimes things are said and done that just happen and I feel like the situation must be talked about before things can move along. What is a situation that can not be forgiven? What is too far? What is too much? What is a deal breaker? What is "just" cause to end a friendship? What is so bad that we can't talk about it and just move on from it? I don't like liars, communication and trust is everything to me and any kind of relationship I'm in. If your a liar most likely we aren't going to be friends very long. I can tolerate it for a little while but we'll never be close. Lies about feelings are deal breakers for me. Talking behind my back is a deal breaker. Being fake not dealing with situations is a deal breaker. Disrespect (which should have a universal meaning) is a deal breaker.You may call it petty or whatever but those are the things that I care about and need I'm my relationships.