S2: How To Love

The words are just going to come out; I'm just going to write them as they come. Seems like the template these days. I woke up this morning with one thing on my mind after reading a message in my inbox on Facebook. "I don't have time to teach anybody how to love or how to live for that matter." Like one of my best friends says "I ain't got the time". I can't tell you how many people call me, text me, message me about advice about love, life, and other stuff. I don't mind it, really I don't. But what eerks me is that you contact me by whatever means and ask for my advice and I give it to you, and then the next time I communicate with you, you’re the same shit. I don't care if you take my advice; I'm not God contrary to what people think and what I've said in the past (that's a joke). I don't have all the answers. But don't be on the same shit when you contact me again telling me about the same situation and you didn't take my advice or someone else’s advice. You obvious like being in that situation and it goes from you asking me about the situation to you complaining about the situation. I’m not fond of complainers who won’t make an effort to change their circumstances. I’m always on the side of happiness by any means of getting there. The people who have taken my advice are doing fine, others whatever. It doesn't even have to be if they trust me or not, clearly they don't trust themselves and that my friends had nothing to do with me.

Canon T3 12.2MP Digital SLR Camera with 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 IS II Lens -

This also goes for people who are interested in me and are expecting me to make a move on them when from my understanding we were just friends. Understanding is a mother fucker and so is perception. All I’m saying is don’t be mad at me when I do something that’s messed up because I didn’t know you were interested in me. I’m a pretty good guesser and I can usually put two and two together but I don’t know everything and sometimes I don’t see the signs. Closed mouths don’t get fed. That’s the end of that. How can I be accountable for how you feel about me and I don’t know. Some of ya’ll are crazy to think otherwise. Don’t be mad at me. I do the most already. I’m only human… I needed to get that out and now I'm done.

S2: F Your Love Story III of III

The movies we glorified as kids in the 90's pertaining to love story were... Um... Well... Classics?  Black love in the 90's, the love and movies that ushered in Tyler Perry movies, The example of how we were supposed to court each other, and how we were supposed to carry on a relationship? Blah, I watched some of those movies again. When the movie goes off nothings really solved no real happily ever after ending. Just happy at that point ending. If you watch and say to yourself what would happen in real life you'd come to the conclusion that maybe I have. That they are going to be in the same situation again and again. In love Jones they never did resolve their issues. They just let time take them and hooked back up a year later. But the suspicion and worries and problems will arise again. You have to deal with problems. They don't just go away. You have to solve them. Okay okay. I'm done with the Hollywood love story. Maybe I’ll write my own called the real love, and it'll be about how real black love is. Not that ol' damaged perception of black love we have today. Love is love and those movies aren't real love.

S2: How Many of Us Have Them?

Not many things are universal, even though I think most things should be. An example would be words. Form what I know, no matter where you go in the word "blue" means "blue", "morning" means morning"  But words like "bad", and "blood" have different meaning. (Please excuse the lack of creativity In my examples I can't think right now). I feel like other things should have universal meanings too. Like the definition of love, reality, and friendship. These definitions are not even common locally. Do you know how much easier love would be if there was a universal definition. What about friendship? The definition of a good or bad friend would be automatic and crossing certain lines would have clear intentions. Which brings me to my point. What is the ultimate betrayal or wrong decision that means "We ain't gone be friends no more."? I feel like it should have a universal meaning or stance. When you do "________" and/ or"_______" (fill in the blank) it means our friendship is over. I have a couple of friendships that have stood the test of time and immaturity. But I've had a whole lot of friendships that have ended. Some ended because of something I did, but the majority was because of something they did and I always told people why we are not friends anymore. About six months ago I did this mass eviction of friends. A total over-haul in my effort to find more respect and love for and from myself. People were angry and didn't understand. I made a few mistakes the way I went about ending some of these friendships (which I later apologized for). But in the end it had to be done. Most, if not all, were pretty toxic or just unhealthy. As much as I wanted certain people I'm my life, I had to have it on my terms. I needed respect and love, and it wasn't fair to me to not receive either of them, especially from those I called my friends.



I have disagreements with people all the time. I'm a very passionate person about everything I'm involved in or care about. Friendships included. Sometimes things happen rather intentional or unintentional. Sometimes things are said and done that just happen and I feel like the situation must be talked about before things can move along. What is a situation that can not be forgiven? What is too far? What is too much? What is a deal breaker? What is "just" cause to end a friendship? What is so bad that we can't talk about it and just move on from it? I don't like liars, communication and trust is everything to me and any kind of relationship I'm in. If your a liar most likely we aren't going to be friends very long. I can tolerate it for a little while but we'll never be close. Lies about feelings are deal breakers for me. Talking behind my back is a deal breaker. Being fake not dealing with situations is a deal breaker. Disrespect (which should have a universal meaning) is a deal breaker.You may call it petty or whatever but those are the things that I care about and need I'm my relationships.

S2: The Virtues of Patients

I just don't know how much patients I'm supposed to have. What else am I supposed to learn? What else am I supposed to go through? How long am I supposed to wait? Its like I have two things driving me. one is telling me "Fuck it just settle" and the other one is saying "just be patient its coming". I'm like "damn its been coming forever when is it gonna get here?". What other "rings of fire" do I have to jump though? At this point can I just jump through them already? I mean really my life has got to be waiting on me too. It's just gotta be there. I see it but its like only a glimpse of what it is. I want it. I want it now!!

S2: Self Proclaimed Righteousness

Words have definitions. The fact that the word "definite" is in fact in the word "definition" makes me believe that their are absolute meaning for words. I'll even go as so far as to say their are universal meanings to words. Righteousness in laymen terms means correct, justified, pretty much that you know what your talking about and your always doing the right thing. But people have their on idea or form of righteousness and justifications to go with them. Who am I to discredit your righteousness and your justification of it? However who are you to put your righteousness on me. What's for you is for you, not me. I'm not sorry I don't care about the stupid ways you've decided to handle your life. But make your existence on this earth any better then mine. I don't go to church every Sunday. Because you do doesn't make me less of a believer in our heavenly father. We are human beings and we all have our stupid little rules and ways of dealing with this existence. Please don't push your righteousness on to me. Thank you in advance.

S2: P for Politics (written in Dec 2011)

I realize I should post more. I've been working on my other blog lately which I haven't posted anything yet but it has a good 6 or 7 post. I've been waiting for select time to just hit you all with an explosion of growth and personal development. I will be serving you me on a platter. In between those issues I haven't been able to think of things that I should write for this blog even though I think about yall often. I have one that I haven't posted yet (because its not finished) its about stalking or rather pursuing. But this post isn't about love, I really wanted to talk about what's going on in the world. Did yall know that the ruler of North Korea died? That's big news. His son, who is in his twenties, is in charge now. Which way is north Korea gonna sway? The old ruler ,Kim Jong II I think that's his name, kept NK under raps. You know we lost Vietnam to them right? Yeah that's "Charlie" in all those old war movies. They have nucks and all that. I'm not trying to scare anyone because the media will do that for me, but I think we should all be aware of everything that's going on in the world. Libya got rid of Gaddafi but they are still struggling over there. America talks a good game but if it doesn't have anything to do with money in our pocket we don't really care. Shame how that plays out. On another note congress just signed over our liberties as American citizens. The military can now detain American citizens for ever without being charged with anything. I watched this documentary one time about declining civilizations and we are pretty much checking off things on that to-do list. Looks like things are gonna get a lot worse before they get better. Or maybe we can say u gotta break a couple of eggs to make an omelet or you gotta destroy to rebuild. Whatever you say its about to get ugly and at least we can blame it on a black president. I mean that makes it right. Right?