3...2...1...YAY 2013!!!!

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I thought today is the last day in in 2012. I wanted to do like this huge information dump where I released all this information I’ve been holding on to but I guess time caught up to me and I’ve really only written one post plus I have been working on the other blog I have. I don’t know, maybe you’ve heard of it? “How to Start a Revolution”. There’s my plug for my other work. It’s getting consist hits and I’m pleased with it. I’m really excited to find out exactly what it will become in 2013 as we continue to post and update the blog.

I always love this time of the year because of New Year’s holiday. It’s always a good time to reflect on the past year’s achievement and reevaluate the past years disappointments. I try not to be cliché but I think we all get caught up in the hopes of possibilities of the new year. There’s so much to hope for, it’s almost as if it’s a new beginning. It feels like we can be a new person. At least it feels that way to me. I don’t care if you think I’m cliché, I’m going to do better in 2013. I have goals that already have time limits on them. I wouldn't call them resolutions but I’m going to achieve them and work on them. I’m excited about 2013. I was born on the 13^th, so that should mean something, right? My main goal for the year and every year is to work on myself and not limit my possibilities by small minded thinking. I’m going to work on not criticizing my friends, because I don’t think it helps when people are on their journey in life. Especially if they didn't ask, I guess there is a point when you see your friend going in a direction where we would perceive as bad but I don’t think if it’s a deadly direction than we shouldn't give our two cents about it. We’re here to support our people, even if that means we can’t see their vision, we should just trust that they believe it and encourage them to greatness. As far as this blog goes I don’t have any plans in stopping. It may slow down a bit with me being back in school and working on other project but I don’t plan on stopping this blog. However I think in the new year I may be getting more metaphysical with topics about; balancing your energies, Chakras  Soul mates, Past lives, Astro-projections, Astrology, and other stuff relating to those topics. I’m not sure if those are subject that you all will be interested in but that is the direction my life is headed and these are the subjects that I’m increasingly being attracted and attached to and I enjoy talking about these subjects. I look forward to doing some more great things in 2013. I hope you all had a wonderful year and I hope next year will be more abundant and loving to you. With everlasting and unconditional love Happy New Year!!!

Last picture i'll take this year 2012

Like it's the End of the World

I couldn't resist writing about this because I love history and the Ancient world and science fiction and New Age stuff. So there’s this Mayan calendar that’s about end, or rather start a new cycle on December 21, 2012. I guess I could tell you what I think, but who really cares if I think the poles are going to shift causing a flood to rival the floor that all the ancient cultures wrote about, or who cares if I believe an asteroid is coming or a rouge planet is coming the size of earth that will smash into our earth and case another Ice Age or if I believe a solar flare is going to cause all of our electronics to no longer function. I’m not telling you I believe in any of that, and I’m not telling you if I don’t believe in any of that, just know that I have done my research and I’m confident in what I do believe in. I would encourage you to do the same if you’re interested. One way or another, whatever is coming, is coming and a simple writer such as myself can’t do anything about it. So I’m cool whatever happens or doesn't happen.

For the past couple of week my friends and I have been discussing post-apocalyptic scenario. Question like how long would you make it if you this were to happen or if that were to happen. It got me thinking about the movie Castaway (also it came on TV) where a guy is stranded on an island and has to survive to the best of his ability. And it got me thinking about the TV show Lost, which was about a plane crashing on an island and they had to start over and survive. Lost was nothing like castaway and they weren’t alone on the island, sigh, I miss lost, what a great television show. So the question came up what would be the hardest thing to deal with and what would you miss the most? I just starting thinking and pondering and I just blurted out that I would be sad that I wouldn’t remember the words to my favorite songs or just songs in general. I mean of course the obvious; you’d miss your family, friends, electricity, hot showers and soap, sex, maybe driving, probably computers and what not. But I think it would break my heart to wake up one morning with a tune in my head, which is something that often happens, and not remember the exact words that went with it. I guess music plays a pretty big role in my life. I mean I’m constantly listening to it, and constantly talking about it. I guess if the end of the world happens then music would be something that I miss the most.

Gayerific

Our difference should only be something that we use to experience life with one another. I’m not talking about the color of our skin or our race, which is a constant subject in our country. I mean things like we should go see a movie together because we both like movies or we should go sky diving together because we both like to jump out of the sky. I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t promoted my race and skin color, because I have. At this point I’m wondering if I would have as much pride or feel the need to openly express if my culture and past hadn’t been ripped from existence. With this country founded on the basis of freedom, because they were tired of being persecuted by England, you’d wonder how United became so divided. It’s seems to be a trend, it’s almost as if there has to be something bad if America the beautiful is to remain good. It’s easy to follow the trail of racism in America; there was a big war about it, followed by a history of discrimination and segregation attempts. That is the history of the division of black Americans. You can trace back all other races including religious beliefs as well. If fighting for race and real religious freedom wasn’t enough, America has decided to attack who we are and what we love. Yes I’m talking about our sexual preference and who we chose to love. Admittedly I’ve never been gay so I couldn’t tell you about my experiences with coming out to my parents and dealing with my sexuality because I don’t have any of those experiences. I can only imagine how one would feel to have to go through something that is naturally you and the world seems to hate. I personality don’t understand what the fuss is about. I would say it’s not my fight but some of my closest friends are gay, and their fight is always my fight. So let’s talk about it.

This is the way I see it; spirit has no gender and it’s true that inside of us we are both male and female or rather feminine and masculine. I believe in soul mates as I’ve stated time and time again, a soul doesn’t have a sexual preference because there is no gender in spirit. That goes the same for skin color and religious belief. You’re born what you are and it cannot be changed. You can try and suppress it but you will be much happier if you chose to live what you are instead of what some made up rule says you should be. Feeling are real I don’t chose to be jealous I just get jealous. I don’t chose to be upset about something I just get upset about something. True the way I handle that feeling is important but the actually feeling itself is out of my control. Love should not be regulated and people should not have to hide who they are. Everyone should be treated with love and respect. If there’s a rule/law that gay people can’t get married than no one should be able to get married. It’s selfish to think otherwise in a united country. We outta be ashamed of ourselves to keep letting these differences divide us. When can we focus on something other than differences? Can we focus on what we have in common? There’s an unseen agenda that is happening and it’s going unnoticed because whoever’s agenda it is keeps pulling rabbits of hats and we keep looking at the rabbit and go man where did that rabbit come from? When it isn’t even about the rabbit, it’s just to distract us from the next trick

And another thing the opposite of Gay is not straight or normal. You’re either homosexual or heterosexual. We talk so destructive to each other and we shouldn't  There are powers in words and we should all watch what we label ourselves and others.

Namaste'

A scene from the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" where Joel says to himself "If only i could meet someone new" not knowing that the person he wanted to meet was a person that he had already known before <3

Namaste': The God in me recognizes the God in you

I don’t profess to be anything other than what I am. I see the world as I see it and if that’s different from the way others see it I’m perfectly fine with that. I don’t have all the answers and I’m not even sure if the answers I know are the correct ones. I find that one only has to believe something to be true for it to be true. (What you believe is the truth andtruth is a lie) I experience life just like everyone does, I’ve just decided to tell people about my experiences and what I’ve come to learn about myself and life as I see it. I love that people are inspired by the things I've written and done in my life as I am inspired by everyone I meet. I love to hear about people’s lives, how they've conquered fears and climbed over obstacles, how they’ve fallen in and out of love, how they've belonged and related. It’s all beautiful to me, life is beautiful to me. This is how I see life.

I see life as a flow of perfect energy, always pushing and pulling. I see us as spirits in a human body. I believe our spirits are eternal as energy can never be destroyed. Our spirits are energy. I believe we are always connected to the source, God. God is us as he (Not referring to a gender) is everything. I see our lives as being perfect. Whatever our individual purpose maybe in this life our spirit is always going towards that direction. I believe that our life and energy is at all times is in perfect balance with our purpose. I believe that our energies attract one another to complete a need that has to be met, or a lesson that has to be learned or taught. Even though we may not perceive it to be true I believe that in every interaction or relationship we are equally fulfilling one another’s need. I don’t believe in coincidences, our personalities and attributes are just for us to recognize each other in our physical bodies. Spirit is our true nature and we can feel each other without ever seeing each other, that’s what we call vibes or vibration. In this dimension everything is vibrating. Just as a fish is in water we are surrounded by vibration. I believe that this is how the law of attraction works. Our thoughts (vibration) are sent out and we get what we attract weather negative or positive. I don’t know any of what I said to be facts nor am I trying to convert you into my way of thinking, I’m just saying what I believe today. Tomorrow I may believe something else.

Belief is important in our lives it’s what guides us and helps us make our decisions. I think it is very important to know what you believe in, to know your own process of how you make decisions. I don’t have it figured out by far but at the rate I’m learning new things I’ll be learning for life times to come. I’m thankful to be alive, I’m thankful to be able to have experiences, I’m thankful for every person I meet and have ever come across. At the end of the day you are human being and your trying to navigate through this world just like I am, and who am I to judge your journey. I hope I get to hear your story someday, if not I love you just the same. If I can give some advice it would be, follow your heart you can’t go wrong, God is in there. He may need you to walk through the fire to get you to see your own light because some people, who are stubborn like me, need that. So follow your heart and love is the answer.

Namaste'

She Hate Me: American Bastards at the Party

I was born I Omaha Nebraska, I lived there for about 6 or 7 years until me and my twin sister were adopted and later moved to the heart of Dixie, the great state of Alabama. In Nebraska we were basically the black kids at school, this meaning it was a mostly white school. At that young age in the school I attended I didn’t know the difference between black and white. Yes, I can remember that I liked black girls but I guess I was just born with that in me (no complaints). When we moved to Alabama I was exposed to racism almost immediately. I’m sure it was part of the welcoming care package when a little white boy told me “Life is like a box of jelly beans no one likes the black ones”. Standing there with my mouth open I didn’t understand what was happening. I had a very proper accent because of the schooling I was exposed to in Nebraska; kids would ignorantly tease me by calling me “white boy”. This also confused me because up untill this point in my life I was the blackest person I knew. Boy did I get a huge shocking dose of reality of how my life would be for the next 15 some odd years living in Montgomery Alabama, whose seals states that they are the birth place of the civil rights movement but also states it is the cradle of the confederacy

Go figure that a cities objectives and conflicts are stated directly on its seal as if to say we are proud to be the birth place of the civil rights movement but we also were an important part of the reason for the civil rights movement. How does a city of predominantly black people support an intuition that divided a country over the right to hold another race of human beings as property? And we can argue all day (and some of you will and have) as to what reasons the confederacy really was about but when it comes down to it, it was about free labor (money). Some of the laws in America can be traced back to have a very racial history as far as it’s reasoning of even being thought about to be a law. This day and age is different though, Am I right? Racism is dead, right? I mean we have a black president, right? The days of being discriminated because of  the color of our skin is dead right? You don’t have to look very hard to find that not to be true. I don’t have much concern for other countries troubles today because I see my brothers and sisters struggling. My brothers and sisters are dying and getting kidnapped by the government for trying to make ends meet, for trying to just get the basic requirements of life met. Yeah it’s sad to hear about Africa and Haiti and Mexico and Egypt, and Libya, and other nations but I can’t begin to lift a helping hand for them when I see what is going on all around me.

The results of the elections surprised a lot of people, not just because Obama won, but because how Americans reacted when he won. People were exposing their little stupid racist heads with no fear. Not only showing disrespect for the president but for black people in general. I was not surprised because I grow up with racism is my face; I can spot a racist 20 miles away. I’m a very good judge of character, I see people as they really are. It scares people for me to know things about them that they barely know about themselves, it scares me too. I’ve (well we’ve) sat back and took a beating while racism has run rampant. People don’t care anymore they want you to know how angry they are, they want you to know how they want black people to be slaves again not even knowing that they themselves are slaves to a government that hates the people. And no I’m not talking about the Obama administration; I’m talking about the system as a whole. If you think racism is the problem your severely mistaken and blind to what is really going on in America. We are sleep and its time to wake the fuck up. Knowledge truly is power, it always has been. Get educated and I don’t mean the systems education which is geared to keep you blind by filling your heads with lies telling you that America is in these other countries to establish democracy and stabilize the people so they can have a better life by bombing and killing it’s people, and then when one of our people gets killed, we as Americans are all in an up roar over the country that killed an America who was promoting peace with a gun (Not to justify any of it). You don’t promote peace with violence. You can’t start a foundation of peace with war. How is that supposed to work? I’ll admit I got off subject a little bit, I apologize for my government if anyone has lost a friend or family member in the wars we continue to engage in and support. It’s time to wake up and see what is really going on in the world, in the country, in your own community, in yourself. Don’t you realize you are love itself? Don’t you realize that we together make this reality? The world is the collective reality of who we are as individual people. Turn off the chip in your brain; get rid of the plant that has grown because of the seed that was planted in us long ago by the things we learned in school and from our parents and was nurtured by our friends and the media and entertainment. I’m disappointed in what we have become, when did we become so weak hearted? I remember when I was little and I heard about the American dream I was excited thinking that it was something that I can obtain. But it was never for people like me, it was never for people I grow up with, black or white. It was for people like Mitt Romney and Donald Trump and they keep us distracted with stupid things like race and  gas prices and other things that don’t matter while the continue to tell us what we don’t deserve and continue taking money from the working class who is keep America running. I’m going to stop it right here, me and another writer friend of mine are seriously thinking of starting a new blog where well discuss politics and issues that affect us all as the people of the United States of America. If you would like to join and or help just email me and I’ll give you more details, it’s time to wake up

Shaun Lamar

DforDramatic@gamil.com

October 31, 2012 Exhibit C: The Absence of Fear

October is one of my favorite’s months, I mean; I know a bunch of people’s birthday, when I lived in Montgomery that’s when the Alabama  State Fair would come, Football Season, A bunch of festivals, Fall seasons, the leaves change, and of course Halloween. I love Halloween, maybe it’s because we get to dress up in costume. I would wear costumes year around and for every holiday if I could. It’s odd how much I love Halloween and I hate to be scared. I don’t enjoy scary movies or being frighten in general. I can hardly watch a scary movie at night let alone by myself. I’m not so much scared of Jason and Freddy, because in my mind they are just men and I’m not scared of man. It’s the evil things that scare me the most, you know like a haunted house that makes you kill everybody in your family because it was built on top of an Indian burial ground or how about a pet cemetery? All that unexplainable stuff scares me. When it comes to frightening things like that I’m terrified but insanely I wouldn’t be scared of someone putting a gun in my face, you know real danger.

With Halloween being a bit of a celebration of fear, what are some of your fears? I have a couple, yeah I don’t like scary movies but that’s not my fear. I’m not afraid of scary movies I just don’t enjoy them as much as the next. I guess when it comes to fear here are some of mine; I have a fear of heights, I’m not sure exactly where that comes from but I know it to be a reality. I love to be in high places just not so close to the widow. When I went through basic training that when I ultimately realized that I was terrified of heights. I still want to fly a plane one day and maybe even jump out of one but I’ll have to crawl before I walk. For a long time I thought I may have a fear of commitment and to be honest I’m not totally true if that is not a fact as of yet. I haven’t been in a relationship in years and for about the last couple of years my cell phone and rent has roughly been based on a month to month plan. I don’t like to feel trapped, so maybe I do have a fear of commitment in some sense of it; it could explain a bunch of aspects of my life. I imagine somewhere inside of me I’m afraid to be loved, and/or left alone. Gosh it’s all coming out now, right? Maybe a fear of success or a fear of moving in a positive direction, all of these could possibility be my reality. I don’t spend countless nights thinking about all of these fears but I don’t tend to analyze things and my life is definitely something that is the main focus of my thoughts. I know my talents and what I can do with them, the hardest part for me is getting things started. Once it’s started things tend to move very fast though. I’m very efficient in getting the job done. Not to toot my own horn but I do great work. Almost everything I do is great or at a minimum, to the best of ability.

In 2008 I went to live with my brother in Warren Robins, Georgia for about 6 months. During that time I got really close with my nephew, he was about 2 years old, he is so smart I admired him so much. One of the qualities that I admired the most was his lack of fear. I remember watching him run out of the house and into the street (we lived in a dead end circle but still) all I was thinking was “Dude that’s the street, you can’t run into the street like that”. He would do a bunch of things like that and I would be freaking out for his safely but he would be giving me this look like “What? It’s just the street”. Gosh I loved that little boy, ahhh how I miss him soo. When I moved away from Georgia and back to Alabama I just hoped that no one would scare the fear in him like it had been done to me. I remember being fearless. Before the world became a dangerous place. I think knowledge doesn’t have to have fear involved in it. I would get in trouble at school and then I would get a whoppen at home. The idea was to instill a sense of fear in me and make me do the right thing for fear of getting another whoopen. It didn’t make me a good child or any less curious (most of the time I would get in trouble for being curious) it made me become sneaky, and not trust my parents, when  I was getting disciplined I didn’t really understand why I was being punished. I got to a point where I didn’t care about getting a whoopen any more, I would get spanked and go and do the exact same thing knowing that I was going to get beat. I don’t think I was a bad kid, I don’t even think I was very different from anybody else I just being me and being a kid trying to find out about the world. If I had the choice I think I would of done better if someone would simply just explain to me why I wasn’t supposed to do certain things instead of saying your too young or just because I said so. At the end of the day I was and am a human being. Kids are human beings. Because of fear we are discouraged from being who we need to be, all the potential you have when you don’t fear anything. Fear is crippling, it stops us in our tracks, it breeds lying and stealing, it breeds greed and violence, fear breeds more fear. I couldn’t of been scared to move from Montgomery to Atlanta and then to New Orleans. Yeah in my mind I was scared of not know what was going to happen or even how it was going to happen  but something in me was telling me do it. I trust myself and my life has not shown me anything different from the statement that everything will be just fine. So I was let’s just stop being so fearful to live life and reaching that next point in our life. Let’s not be fearful to chase our dreams and achieve them. We’ve lived fearful for most our lives, let’s see how life feels on the other side.

October 13 2012: The Three Families

What does a person who has been disconnected from his family in every aspect of his life have to say to anybody about family values? Let me break down my life a little bit for you. I was born with in 1985, from there we have neglect and abuse to the point where a 2 year old is found with a broken leg. Needless to say after an investigation, my twin sister and I were taken into protective services. If my memory serves me correctly we had 3 foster families. While with one foster family we were subject to some of the harshest treatments of children I have ever heard. We got taken away from that family after someone notice bruises on me from being beaten every 5 minutes to a timer. I am not exaggerating even in the slightest. Not to mention what my sister with through. At this time she was the only constant thing in my life. I felt I had to be strong for her and that continued as this story does. 1990 we were finally adopted, upon adoption you would expect and think that it was all good but now enters mental abuse. Not until we got to be teenagers did it really start, the paranoia that we as a family (Not just my twin and me) had to endure is ridiculous. To have to cater to an adult’s emotional needy ass is outrageous as a child. What is going on with my body?  How am I going to pass my class? What are we going to do this weekend? I wonder if she likes me. Oh and damn is my dad looking through the classroom window? I truly know what it means to be stalked, to have your phone bugged, to have people ask you is that your dad over there behind that tree? I wish this was a joke but it’s all true. The only way we were considered a family was that we all had a common goal of not being a target to my father’s distrust and we were very trust worthy people.  Nobody had anybody’s back in our family. People at school didn't know I had an older brother that went to the same school. People would always be surprised to find out. I guess my loyalty comes from me being with my sister so much even when I didn’t think she would ever take the fall for me. I've gotten plenty of beating for my sister but that’s my twin, my heart. Upon completion of high school I was blamed for all of my sister’s behavior even though I wasn't getting in trouble yet. I was told that the only reason I got adopted was because my sister had a twin and they didn’t want to split us up. I was told this several several times despite awesomeness oozing out of my pours. It didn’t stop when I moved out to go to college with no help from anybody. I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know how to cook, wash dishes or clothes. These are facts that people know about me. I’m marvelous at cooking now; I’ve come a long way from the fire of 04” (maybe I’ll tell you about it one day). Dishes and clothes… meh… I’ve figured some middle ground in achieving medium cleanliness. Whites just aren’t that white these days. Anywho I got a chance to speak to my real parents and the lies that came out of their mouths were incredible. I don’t mind you lying (really do mind) when I ask you something, but don’t invite me to your lies. If I don’t ask you about something than don’t tell me especially if it’s the elephant in the room. Let it go, I don’t want to know about whatever happen 20 some odd years ago. I’m okay I’ve made it through that fire, trying not to get burnt but the fire in front of me. Needless to say my dreams have been stepped on over and over by my family members I don’t really want to go into details at this time but just trust that I have had a horrible example of the type of family I will have one day. One filled with love and support for who you are as a person. I will be my children’s and my wife’s biggest supporter. I will invest in my family because I know that it matters. The time you spend with your family matters. Every second matters. I never wanted to work a job so much that I neglect my family. I’d take family over money any day. Life is not about hording the most money. Life is about feeling love and expressing love, tending to wounds with companions and understanding. Not being judgmental and promoting individualism. I want my kids to know that it is okay to be who they are. As long as I’m around I’ll protect my family like a man is supposed to, I’ll tell my wife and kids I love them as many times as I think of it. My kids will be raised with hugs and kisses and if they want to be a painter they can be a painter, if they want to be the first person on Mars, we’re going to figure out how to make it happen. I don’t understand how people lose sight of what is important. You can’t replace that feeling you get when someone looks into your eyes and tell you they love you or even without them saying anything, just that look and you know what it is. We have a big responsibility to promote a new way of living that brings us back to the family. You can’t depend on money it comes and it goes. I’m not knocking people with money but if you’re not about that family, if you don’t have anybody to share it with than what’s the point? Really what is the point? That’s what I wanted to say about family, I know what it is and what it means

With all that being said about family and all the experiences I went through with them I have to give a huge huge huge thank you to my friends who have supported me in whatever craziness I’ve been involved in. I honestly could not have made it very far if I didn’t have the support of people who looked inside me and saw that my every intention was an attempt to be good. I thank them for see my light and wanting it to shine. I love them and they are my true family. I don’t know if my family reads this blog but I know my friends do and truly love ya’ll to death <3

Oh Yeah one of my friends birthday is today... Happy Birthday Kartis :)

October 1, 2012 Exhibit B: Intuitively Dedicated

What does it mean to be dedicated? To commit to a person or an idea, what does that mean? some people are so committed to their belief system that they will strap on a bomb and blow you up so that they can achieve whatever it is they achieve in that religion. How much do you believe? What are you willing to do? In my life I’ve been dedicated to ideas, people, projects, love, the future, a bunch of things. To be dedicated to something or someone, I think, takes a lot of passion and faith. Most of the time we are dedicated blindly without knowing what the real outcome will be.  I believe in myself. One of the only things that I can be certain of is that I am real or at least that I exist in some form or fashion. My thoughts are real to me. My feelings are real to me. I’m not sure if they are 100% to be trusted but since I’ve at least acknowledged them and embraced them, I think I’ve been better off. I’ve been criticized greatly about the decision I’ve made. Some people I’m close to think I make dumb decisions. They can agree that I’m smart and they can agree that I will do great things on day, but I think that is as far their faith goes in my ability to make a positive decision in the direction of a successful life.  Part of being dedicated is to have an idea of results in the actions your taking. I’ve heard a time or two that “making it is never what you expected”. But that’s what I really want to know, are you dedicated enough to accept the results no matter if they are what you expected or not? The thing about following your heart or your intuition is that things sometimes look ugly, sometimes things get really bad. But how dedicated are you? Or how much do you believe in whatever it is to stick with it, to fight through the end? Because I have been scrutinized for every move I’ve ever made and to tell you the truth for me it looks bad, not horrible just bad. But I feel like I’m just being shown something. There’s a bridge being built in my life to get the next level, whatever it may be I’m dedicated to seeing this thing out. I’m learning patients, I’m learning self-respect, I’m forming new goals, and old limitations are disappearing. I’m not going to act like every day is easy. Because following what you believe in is sometimes scary. It’s following the road less traveled. It’s not how I was raised but it’s something that I believe is the best thing and I’m going follow this thing out and see where it gets me.

The thing about stating all of this is that people will read this, and I’m talking more about the people who know me, and say I’m dumb for blindly doing what I believe in and I should just do this and do that and then they look at their life and wish and pray for something to be different. I think you’re in a sad state if you dream and don’t have a will to follow it. Or you’re too scared to put yourself out there. The worst thing that can happen is that you will fail and find out that’s not a way to do it or prove everybody right. But what if you succeed? What if you get everything you dream of? It’s the difference in settling for something you know you hate (or eventually will hate) to taking a chance to better your situation. You may not know where you’re walking to but you know what you’re walking away from. You should never discourage anyone who is willing to change their life by taking a leap of faith or taking a great chance. Don’t you know that is how every great story is made? When we were kids we had this vision of life. We had dreams and at the time they were realistic to us. I mean I was probably never going to marry Halle Berry but you get what I’m saying. Down the line between people telling us we couldn’t do it and having to do whatever we had to do, we lost sight of those dreams and didn’t believe they were possible. Fuck that!! They are possible. I’m a dreamer and a believer. The world was founded on dreaming and believing. I’m going to continuing doing so because nothing exists without being dreamed up and believed in first. Dream of being all that you want to be and believe in yourself and in your dream. You can’t go wrong.

September 14, 2012 Exhibit A: Mated at the Soul

Question: How much are you willing to give up for the pursuit of your soul mate? Your job? Your lifestyle? How much is true happiness worth? I mean saying that your soul mate brings you happiness Or at least contributes to it. You might be miserable. Who knows that maybe what you’re used to? And who am I to say what love is to you. But Before I start this, (Which has already started), I want to ask you, what do you believe in? Do you believe in past lives? What do you believe happens when we die? I have to admit I actually believe in past lives. I believe that not only have we been here before, but we will be here again, and again. I believe in soul mates and that would be the reason for love at first sight. We’ve met each other before rather we are soul mates and spent a life time madly in love and we just remember that eternal love or we have been trying and trying to make it work, life time after life time. It makes sense to me. Rather you believe it or not I think the discussion is a valid question. I know I’m not the only person who has been mesmerized by another person who seems to know all the right things to say, who seems to do all the wrong things that seem to be all the right things. Love is a tricky subject and soul mates are an even tricker subject. I believe in soul mates, not just love soul mates but friends and family soul mates. I believe we belong to a soul group. And in our life times we” run these streets” with them. Personally my best friend, I can’t explain why we are BEST friends but we just work well together. I’ve had people come and go, but there are some people who will always be around no matter if I talk to them every day or once a month or even once a year. I know that the Internet has provided a way for us to connect to each other’s life in a way we haven’t been able to before in the past. But then again who are we to say that’s the truth. As we’re finding out every day, or at least I am, history has been wrong about so much. It seems like they are correcting themselves every day about a subject that they used to be experts about. But that’s another post. This one is about soul mates. I’d like to think and believe that we all have soul mates and a plan for our lives in which we have the opportunity to at least meet our soul mates. Regardless of if we’re supposed to be together in this life time or not. Eternity is a long to time. It’s ever, not forever. All I’m asking you to think about is what are you willing to sacrifice for a chance at your one and only true love soul mate? Truth: I’d do a lot. Maybe you can consider me a sucker for love but I’ve never regret just giving it a try. I’d rather she said “I’m just not feeling you” than me saying “well I never tried”. And that goes for all aspects of my life. I can’t respect wanting change but never striving to change. All I want to know is do you believe in Soul mates?  And to tell you the truth I feel sorry if you’ve never felt love on the level of saying someone is your soulmate.

September 4th 2012- If i Found 1000 Pounds

Greeting all.

This is a post just to show my appreciation for the loyalty and tremendous support I've gotten for this blog. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for accepting me as I am. This blog started as a way for me to get some of the craziness out of my head. In the beginning it was a secret and some people told me I should share it with the world. I took their advice and I have reached 1000 views. I’m proud of myself for sticking with this. I went from about 2 – 11 views a month to last month 130 on an off month. Since May my view count has been increasing every month. Thank you to my readers in America, Russia, Germany, India and the UK. Series III will start as planned in November. The biggest difference is that I will be adding a picture to every post as I do a little photography.  There will definitely be longer post for your enjoyment. And if you have suggestions I would love to hear them. I realized that I have never given out my contact information so that is something I will include as well. I want to thank you all again for reading, it really means a lot to me. If I never get to meet you , shake your hand, or laugh with you I still want you to know that even though I don’t know you… I love you and I wish you the very best.

If you would like to make suggestion or simply just say hello here is my contact information

Shaun Lamar

DForDramatic@gmail.com

Making Love Underneath the Cherry Leaves

-Atlanta high noon-

When I was 19 I started working at a factory in Montgomery Alabama. Before that I worked at a grocery store on an Air Force base. Before that, the majority of my interaction with people where that of people in my age group, we mostly talked about college, who broke up, who hooked up with who, and life plans, nothing too vulgar or inappropriate . Well I mean we didn't have the most mature conversations but most of it was innocent. When I began working at the factory that was the first time I was around older people all the time. I was the youngest, my friend was a year older and the next age was 28 or 29. Most of everybody else was from the age range of 30-40. Needless to say I got an eye opener on life and people in general. This was the first time I was around people from diverse back grounds who didn't have to censor themselves because of their surroundings.  I was around people who not only celebrated but expected adultery. I was odd because I still had this idea that people are good and relationships and marriages were something to be respected. I was shocked to find out that all the adults did was talk about sex. The things I was exposed to in that plant at that age. I said all that because out of all the post and subjects I've discussed on this blog, never have I once wrote a post about sex. It didn't hit me until recently when I was thinking about relationships and sex. I still have the same view of sex I did when I was younger.  I thought that it might change who I was being exposed to the vulgarity that people talked about sex. I must admit that I have been a willing participated in these dirty talks. I am a very good “Shit talker” and frankly can back my shit up. I was taught by the bests, or so they claim to have been. But if I believed them doesn't it make it just as so?

So this post is about sex. What do I think about it? To be honest I’m conflicted to the serious implications of sex. My morals tell me that you should have sex only after your married and with one person for the rest of your life. However my huMAN (Notice the capitalization of man) nature wants me to put my penis in everything I can see. Free Love, I could get with it. My lines about sex are so undefined that I myself choose to practice abstains. I won’t say that I’m waiting for marriage but I’m at least waiting until I’m in a steady relationship built on trust. There is one thing I am definite about when it comes to sex and that is if I don’t trust you I damn sure will not have sex with you. Sex does mean a lot. We all try and say “oh it doesn’t mean anything it’s just sex”, but I can say for myself sex is a big deal. And to tell you the truth, by the way we all talk about it, I know it means a lot to you to. Okay this is probably the part where I lose some of you and maybe some of you will get to judging me but this is something that I want to write and me telling you my opinion on this subject may be the only real reason I decided to make this post about sex. When it comes to sex it’s deeper than mashing our sex organs together. I’m not a virgin by far. I’ve had sex a quite a few times. Not particularly with a lot of women but constantly when I was having sex. Sex to me is mental. I like to have great sex. That sex when you feel connected before even connecting (did you see what I did there?). That sex when you feel as if you’re the only two people left on the planet. Have any of you ever had that kind of sex? And some might just call it making love but whatever you call it, the connection is deeper than your sex organs being satisfied.  It’s almost as if we are uploading and downloading information with that physical connects. I can remember most of my sexually experiences because my mind is always in it. I can’t seem to ever turn that off. I’m always wanting to please more and more. I’ve been disappointed before and I’ve had regular sex where we are like robots doing the motions that bring us to scarifications or lack thereof. Yawn, that sex is boring and not worth it to me. I want our souls to connect. I want it to feel like our souls have been missing one another’s soul every time we connect. Have I lost you yet? Do you think my bar is too high? Do you think its lame? Do you think it’s beautiful? Regardless this is something I desire to have in my life again. Yes I like to fuck until my limbs feel as if they are no longer a part of me, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about something deeper. Okay that’s basically what I have to say about sex for now. I will be making more post about sex in the future as I feel that this is the start of a beautiful beginning of a discussion on sex and all sex related subject matters i.e. porn, prostitutes, male whores, and maybe rape. I have a lot to say so continue coming back and reading.

Imperfections of a perfectionist

Sometimes I’m an egomaniac. Sometimes I obsess about choices I make and how my future is going to be. I feel as if I don’t have time to make the wrong decisions any more. I’m closer to 30 than 20. Even though I know my life won’t end soon (How do I know you may ask… I just do. I’ll die when I’m done with what I’m supposed to do here) I still want to have a great life. I’ve made bad decisions before and I’ve paid for them, hell I’m still paying for some of them.  You know what? guidance is something. You can really make a muck of life without any guidance. Most people meet me and think I have it all figured out, they love my concepts about life and the things I’ve done and achieved. But to me I could be better. I could have done better.  I did everything I wanted my way, so I have no one to blame for the short comings that I’ve made up in my head. I just want everything in my life to be perfect. I want to have the best life. I want to make the best decisions. I want to have the best people around me. A life filled with abundance and happiness. Even though I strive for happiness I still don’t even know what it really is. Money is not a motive to me. I’ve had very nice cars, nice places in nice neighborhoods, lots of money to spend, I’ve even come back for having absolutely nothing. I can’t honestly think back to a time where I was really happy, at least the kind of happiness I’m chasing. It feels like looking for a needle in a haystack when you’ve never seen a needle. I’m still optimistic and believe that the happiness I’m looking for is out there but in the mean time I need to be appreciative of what I have today. I never want to take for grant the things I already have in my life. I have income, a cast of awesome supportive friends, a place to live, I still have my mind, and I have a future. All those things are something to be grateful for. I just need to chill out and calm down and realize everything is going to be just fine. Just like it is right now and just like it has always has been. I told one of my best friends that “it’s like I can’t make the wrong decision”, It always ends up being the right decision. The perfect decision.

July 31 2012 iKinect

This is not the start of series III, this is just me blogging my thoughts about what’s on my mind.

So what’s on my mind? Energy, Love, Success, Struggles, Destinies, Faith, Life, I mean these are things that are always on my mind. There’s a force that is pushing and pulling me in directions that I’ve never been before. I have to face obstacles that, for the first time, I don’t know if I can make it through. Of course I have faith that everything will be alright (and it always is). But I’ve reached a point that I can’t see where I’m going. For the first time I’m truly by myself. If I stand or fall it is totally and absolutely in my hands. I and I alone will have to deal with the consequences. I have no shoulder to cry on. There’s no “somebody” to console me when I’ve gone into battle and come back with wounds. It’s tough not having that safety net but I know this is something that I need. When I was younger I would wonder what in my future would be so hard for me to get over that I needed to be so strong for. I still wonder that some times. My first instinct is to run away. My mind tells me it’s too hard. But I have to remind myself that it’s all in a plan. The puzzles pieces are lying right in front of me and sometimes the pieces are easy to connect. But other times (like right now) it seems my vision is blurry. Sometimes it gets hard to focus, it gets hard to stay motivated when you look around and realize you’re alone and no one else is doing what you’re doing. No one else is moving how you’re moving; no one else believes or sees your vision how you see and believe it. How can anyone motivate me when they can’t see the direction you’re going. To be truthful, half the time I don’t know which direction I’m going. I don’t have a road map to the unknown. I’m literally living day by day, every day. It’s not so easy relying on faith all the time. But this is what I choose to do and in the end I’ll happy with the results. It takes pressure to make a diamonds and I’ve come too far to turn around. The point of no return.

On another note (which was actually almost the name of this blog, but I decided not to go with it):

This connection that I have with you has torn me from a comfortable, stagnate state and has brought me to a point, to a place that has forced me to live the life I need to live. To live the life I dreamed to live. I haven’t reached my potential yet but day by day I’m moving closer and closer. Everyday I’m seeing more and more. I’m getting confirmation for the heavens that I am in the right place at the right time. I talk about destiny and this is what I mean, this connection. I still don’t know what it means, I still can’t explain it. But I know and have been reassured over and over again that it is what I think it is. I’m not destine for mediocrity and neither are you.  You are that force pulling me...

S2: Last Dance, Last Chance

This post is just going to be a randomness of categories that will pretty much be the basis of Series III. This is the last post of series II. I couldn’t decide how I wanted to end it because I still have a lot to blog about and I’ve had to focus my energy on what I am currently doing. So here’s the last dance at the end of the night. The last chance for love, so grab a partner and get on the dance floor.

Every bit of advice I ever gave was either something I’ve been through or simply the advice I would want to hear if I was in that situation. As I always say, I don’t know everything, I don’t even always know the right thing to say, but I believe I give pretty good sound advice. I always feel like people always know what they are going to do anyway. Sometimes advice is just confirmation to know that it’s okay to make that choice. I usually know what I want to do, but sometimes advice seals the deal.

In the recent weeks I have decided to denounce violence. On all accounts, I can no longer stand around and support it. There is a difference in entertainment and glorifying. In a Movie you have actors who play parts. The audience is very aware that what is happening on screen is a story put together by a director. In music, Rap in particular, we attribute lyrics to things the artist are doing in their real lives. Our favorite artist would normally be the artist who shadows the way our life is, or at least our experiences. In the past year, 2 rappers have been murdered and in the past 3 months at least 3 more rappers have been shot. Some of these rappers talk about violence and some don’t. The point is, what is advocating or glorifying violence getting us? People I know are dying, getting killed and it’s horrible to me. Most of us were beating in to submission when we were kids. We were raised to fear our parents. I can be the first to admit I used to get harsh punishments. Some to the point that the police got involved on at least two separate occasions. Might be a shock to those who grow up with me but it’s all true and documented. When I would get a whoopen it didn’t make me act “good”, it didn’t even make me fear my parents, it made me hate them. If you think back when you were young you may have felt the same way. We beat our kids into sharing and not hitting other kids but how are we really teaching them to handle situations? We were all upset about Trayvon Martin and the way he was murdered, and go right along and blast that new mixtape that our favorite rapper just put out talking about killing and fighting and other violent stuff they don’t do. We unconsciously support police brutally and killing of innocent people in Iraq or wherever. It has to stop. True enough we are not going out there doing these things, but support is agreeing with what is happening or what you believe in. The world is the way it is because we all allow it to be that way. Bankers steal money because we allow them to. We’ve been brain washed to think we need certain things in our life. We’ve been given one avenue and we believe it to be the only way. That’s wrong, and in the future I’m going to do everything I can to turn this world around for the better. That means supporting more love denouncing violent practices, sharing my knowledge and gaining more. You don’t have to believe what I believe or even have to agree with me but that is the stance I’ve decided to take on violence in our community and world. I think this is important and you can bet I will be writing more about this in Series III.

For the longest time I have been reading self-help books. I’ve literally been studying life and how to live. I’ve gained so much from all the things I’ve read but I’ve always noticed a disconnect when it came to actually applying these processes or plans in my life. I could probably say that it is a problem of motivation or lack thereof, but sometimes I’ve been really motivation but never get the result I wanted. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been better than not and I do always get positive results, but I’ve never experienced that supreme final ending that all self-help books or books on life talk about. I recently heard something that made a light bulb go off in my head. Sacrifice, what have I sacrificed to achieve these goals? I maybe only speaking for myself here but I always want what I want but I don’t want to change anything. I don’t really want to get out of my comfort zone. If I could do the same things and achieve the maximum greatness, that would be supreme. But that’s wrong, doing the same thing and expecting different results in crazy not by my account, it’s a quote by someone. All I know is people always say that people change when they get rich and the fact is people have to change to get rich. You have to change your habits; you have to humble yourself enough to acknowledge that the way you’ve been doing things isn’t working to achieve what you want. Sacrifice, act like you want to be successful. Here’s another quote “Fake it till you make it” it’s the same thing. A change has to be been.

In “A Voice from the People” blog I’ve always talked about the things going on around me. So you can bet series III will be the exact same. I’ve decided on a few changes, more personal goals for me, but the majority of this blog will stay the same. More about Love, more about relationships, more about the universe, more about living, more about bullying, more about current events, more about music, more about belief systems, more goodness altogether. Hopefully I can get an editor and you all won’t have to deal with my horrible grammar, punctuations and spelling. As far as when the Series III will start, I don’t know yet. I’ll estimate between the end of September to the end of October (My favorite month besides my birth month). So by November Series III should be on and popping. I can’t wait because these are exciting times for me. I’ve moved, I have a new job and to tell you the truth I feel like I’m climbing to the top of the world. All I need is a queen, a leading lady to share all this with. In due time though.

S2: Three Reasons; Location Location Location

Does one location make you feel more superior to the next? Do you believe in energy? How about the transfer of energy? I heard one time that we live in a sea of energy like a fish lives in water. It was an explanation of how the law of attraction works. I believe in energy and the transfer of it. I see money as a way of transferring energy as well as other ways. I can say for myself different locations I’ve been in have had a profound effect on me. Since I’ve been grown I’ve lived in a few places. Montgomery, Atlanta, Warner Robins. Each place has had an effect on my well-being and my understanding about life  and my pursuit of happiness. Even in a short time frame I have noticed a change in my behavior and attitude, even in the way I feel about myself has changed in different locations. I’ve had a short stint in Birmingham, the Virginia area, the New Jersey area, and the Mobile area. Each had a much different effect  from the last. My relationship with people has changed with the location. Me and “so & so” don’t get along at all in the New Jersey Area but in the Montgomery we’re pretty cool. I wouldn’t think it would make a difference. But it’s been true for me. Different locations have different energies. Depending on your own energy a location can be positive or negative. Before I put my finger on this concept a friend of mine introduced me to this website that you can punch in your information and it will pull up your birth chart. People who study astrology will know what I mean about Birth Chart. Once you get your Star chart/Birth Chart up (Which is as unique as your thumb print) you can go to different parts of the site such as; vocation, compatibility in different relationships, and other stuff. Most of that stuff you can pay for a full report, it only gives you a sample of the report for free. I’m sure it’s worth it and you may really get a good insight on yourself and your life and maybe even the direction you want to take. The one that I got the most out of was the Travel section. It advertises by saying “Choose the perfect vacation spot”.  As you all should know by now, I love to travel. So why wouldn’t I play around with it. I clicked on a couple of spots to see what they would say. I got some positive and negative responses. The places I’ve been were relatively accurate. It gave me hope for the places that I haven’t been. According to this site, good places for me are New York, San Francisco, New Orleans, L.A. Hawaii, and some places in Africa. Some bad places were New Jersey, Houston, Oklahoma Montgomery, Vegas, and Philadelphia. On the fence are Miami, Atlanta, Virginia, London, and Sydney, which just means they can sway in either direction. The name of the website is www.astro.com, you should all check it out. I use it from time to time when I’m bored or want to find out how a place will be like for me. I believe for the most part it’s pretty acute. I didn’t realize it until I started talking to people and they pointed out that I had said it was going to be like that when I go there. I’m still a “see it to believe it” kind of person. I said all this to say I’m moving (or will have moved by the time this is read) to New Orleans. It’s been about 9 months I’ve been thinking about it. And about 4 or 5 months I’ve actually been planning. I have a job, a place to stay. I think it’s safe to say I live there. So series 3 will start and I will be in New Orleans, a whole new mentality, with more dive and ambition. This should be a great move.

S2: Companionshit

I don't really know how to start this but I know what I want to say so I'm going to be like Lindsay Lohan in "Mean Girls" and word vomit all over this post. I know that was gross but here it goes. What's wrong with "it’s just not going to work out"? Why is it so hard to commit to “well we tried and it didn't work"? I'm not just talking about love relationship or interaction; I’m talking about friendships and partnerships as well. You may not be like me, but I'm willing to bet, most of you are. After that bond is cut to the point of "we're not talking anymore" why is it so hard to just leave it be cut. I think as I've gotten older it has gotten harder. As much as I know we're not going to make it, I always want to text, call, tweet, send a Facebook message, whatever. It is 100% every time a bad idea. You don't get any higher than that.

Okay so while I was writing I actually formed some kind of answer to my own question. Sometimes it happens like that. My brain said that in every interaction, person or thing, we attract in our lives. Not just on my part but both parts. I attract you or it, and it or you attract me. Which means there’s a need, at some point, for that person or thing. So when we initially "try things out" and things don't work out, it’s not necessarily the person we don't like but maybe we have “out needed” or “out grown” that attraction. Okay look I don't have all the answers so I don't know if this is the answer but that is what my brain told me. I'm rolling with it. You can choose to get whatever you want out of it. Thank you for enduring my unconstructed thoughts.

S2: How To Love

The words are just going to come out; I'm just going to write them as they come. Seems like the template these days. I woke up this morning with one thing on my mind after reading a message in my inbox on Facebook. "I don't have time to teach anybody how to love or how to live for that matter." Like one of my best friends says "I ain't got the time". I can't tell you how many people call me, text me, message me about advice about love, life, and other stuff. I don't mind it, really I don't. But what eerks me is that you contact me by whatever means and ask for my advice and I give it to you, and then the next time I communicate with you, you’re the same shit. I don't care if you take my advice; I'm not God contrary to what people think and what I've said in the past (that's a joke). I don't have all the answers. But don't be on the same shit when you contact me again telling me about the same situation and you didn't take my advice or someone else’s advice. You obvious like being in that situation and it goes from you asking me about the situation to you complaining about the situation. I’m not fond of complainers who won’t make an effort to change their circumstances. I’m always on the side of happiness by any means of getting there. The people who have taken my advice are doing fine, others whatever. It doesn't even have to be if they trust me or not, clearly they don't trust themselves and that my friends had nothing to do with me.

Canon T3 12.2MP Digital SLR Camera with 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 IS II Lens -

This also goes for people who are interested in me and are expecting me to make a move on them when from my understanding we were just friends. Understanding is a mother fucker and so is perception. All I’m saying is don’t be mad at me when I do something that’s messed up because I didn’t know you were interested in me. I’m a pretty good guesser and I can usually put two and two together but I don’t know everything and sometimes I don’t see the signs. Closed mouths don’t get fed. That’s the end of that. How can I be accountable for how you feel about me and I don’t know. Some of ya’ll are crazy to think otherwise. Don’t be mad at me. I do the most already. I’m only human… I needed to get that out and now I'm done.

S2: F Your Love Story III of III

The movies we glorified as kids in the 90's pertaining to love story were... Um... Well... Classics?  Black love in the 90's, the love and movies that ushered in Tyler Perry movies, The example of how we were supposed to court each other, and how we were supposed to carry on a relationship? Blah, I watched some of those movies again. When the movie goes off nothings really solved no real happily ever after ending. Just happy at that point ending. If you watch and say to yourself what would happen in real life you'd come to the conclusion that maybe I have. That they are going to be in the same situation again and again. In love Jones they never did resolve their issues. They just let time take them and hooked back up a year later. But the suspicion and worries and problems will arise again. You have to deal with problems. They don't just go away. You have to solve them. Okay okay. I'm done with the Hollywood love story. Maybe I’ll write my own called the real love, and it'll be about how real black love is. Not that ol' damaged perception of black love we have today. Love is love and those movies aren't real love.

S2: How Many of Us Have Them?

Not many things are universal, even though I think most things should be. An example would be words. Form what I know, no matter where you go in the word "blue" means "blue", "morning" means morning"  But words like "bad", and "blood" have different meaning. (Please excuse the lack of creativity In my examples I can't think right now). I feel like other things should have universal meanings too. Like the definition of love, reality, and friendship. These definitions are not even common locally. Do you know how much easier love would be if there was a universal definition. What about friendship? The definition of a good or bad friend would be automatic and crossing certain lines would have clear intentions. Which brings me to my point. What is the ultimate betrayal or wrong decision that means "We ain't gone be friends no more."? I feel like it should have a universal meaning or stance. When you do "________" and/ or"_______" (fill in the blank) it means our friendship is over. I have a couple of friendships that have stood the test of time and immaturity. But I've had a whole lot of friendships that have ended. Some ended because of something I did, but the majority was because of something they did and I always told people why we are not friends anymore. About six months ago I did this mass eviction of friends. A total over-haul in my effort to find more respect and love for and from myself. People were angry and didn't understand. I made a few mistakes the way I went about ending some of these friendships (which I later apologized for). But in the end it had to be done. Most, if not all, were pretty toxic or just unhealthy. As much as I wanted certain people I'm my life, I had to have it on my terms. I needed respect and love, and it wasn't fair to me to not receive either of them, especially from those I called my friends.



I have disagreements with people all the time. I'm a very passionate person about everything I'm involved in or care about. Friendships included. Sometimes things happen rather intentional or unintentional. Sometimes things are said and done that just happen and I feel like the situation must be talked about before things can move along. What is a situation that can not be forgiven? What is too far? What is too much? What is a deal breaker? What is "just" cause to end a friendship? What is so bad that we can't talk about it and just move on from it? I don't like liars, communication and trust is everything to me and any kind of relationship I'm in. If your a liar most likely we aren't going to be friends very long. I can tolerate it for a little while but we'll never be close. Lies about feelings are deal breakers for me. Talking behind my back is a deal breaker. Being fake not dealing with situations is a deal breaker. Disrespect (which should have a universal meaning) is a deal breaker.You may call it petty or whatever but those are the things that I care about and need I'm my relationships.

S2: The Virtues of Patients

I just don't know how much patients I'm supposed to have. What else am I supposed to learn? What else am I supposed to go through? How long am I supposed to wait? Its like I have two things driving me. one is telling me "Fuck it just settle" and the other one is saying "just be patient its coming". I'm like "damn its been coming forever when is it gonna get here?". What other "rings of fire" do I have to jump though? At this point can I just jump through them already? I mean really my life has got to be waiting on me too. It's just gotta be there. I see it but its like only a glimpse of what it is. I want it. I want it now!!

S2: Self Proclaimed Righteousness

Words have definitions. The fact that the word "definite" is in fact in the word "definition" makes me believe that their are absolute meaning for words. I'll even go as so far as to say their are universal meanings to words. Righteousness in laymen terms means correct, justified, pretty much that you know what your talking about and your always doing the right thing. But people have their on idea or form of righteousness and justifications to go with them. Who am I to discredit your righteousness and your justification of it? However who are you to put your righteousness on me. What's for you is for you, not me. I'm not sorry I don't care about the stupid ways you've decided to handle your life. But make your existence on this earth any better then mine. I don't go to church every Sunday. Because you do doesn't make me less of a believer in our heavenly father. We are human beings and we all have our stupid little rules and ways of dealing with this existence. Please don't push your righteousness on to me. Thank you in advance.

S2: P for Politics (written in Dec 2011)

I realize I should post more. I've been working on my other blog lately which I haven't posted anything yet but it has a good 6 or 7 post. I've been waiting for select time to just hit you all with an explosion of growth and personal development. I will be serving you me on a platter. In between those issues I haven't been able to think of things that I should write for this blog even though I think about yall often. I have one that I haven't posted yet (because its not finished) its about stalking or rather pursuing. But this post isn't about love, I really wanted to talk about what's going on in the world. Did yall know that the ruler of North Korea died? That's big news. His son, who is in his twenties, is in charge now. Which way is north Korea gonna sway? The old ruler ,Kim Jong II I think that's his name, kept NK under raps. You know we lost Vietnam to them right? Yeah that's "Charlie" in all those old war movies. They have nucks and all that. I'm not trying to scare anyone because the media will do that for me, but I think we should all be aware of everything that's going on in the world. Libya got rid of Gaddafi but they are still struggling over there. America talks a good game but if it doesn't have anything to do with money in our pocket we don't really care. Shame how that plays out. On another note congress just signed over our liberties as American citizens. The military can now detain American citizens for ever without being charged with anything. I watched this documentary one time about declining civilizations and we are pretty much checking off things on that to-do list. Looks like things are gonna get a lot worse before they get better. Or maybe we can say u gotta break a couple of eggs to make an omelet or you gotta destroy to rebuild. Whatever you say its about to get ugly and at least we can blame it on a black president. I mean that makes it right. Right?

S2: I've Been Keeping Things From You

I wrote a lot of post in the last 5 months and have only posted 2. I apologize but I’ve been having issues. I was going to post one of those “post” today but as I was reading over them I realized that I don’t feel the same way or would even say things the same way as I did when I wrote them. It doesn’t take away from the intent of the post or quality; I’ve just being growing a lot. I’ve been learning new ways to express my thoughts in a different manner. Instead of not posting them because of the way I feel, sometime soon I will post them all on one day. It will be the end of Series 2, and I will start again with Series 3. It’s kind of timely seeing how I started series 2 when I moved to Atlanta and I will be ending it and moving away just as soon. So in the future maybe 2 to 3 weeks I will be doing a mass post and doing away with Series 2 and beginning Series 3 in a new city

S2 Broad Street Bullying

Anybody ever been harassed by a bully? I have, I've maybe even been a bully a time or too. I think its weird, just the whole topic of bullying. People are really passionate about it now. I guess because kids are killing themselves over it now. I remember I used to justice bullying by saying we all got bullied but that doesn't make it right. I still wonder why kids are now killing themselves these days because of it. Bad parenting maybe? I’m not judging I’m just saying that maybe that’s a reason. I do know this, if I went back and got to live my childhood again, I'd fight every last one of them. No matter the outcome I wish I would have fought. If not physically at least stood up for myself, and that Includes everybody; my dad, my teachers, policeman, kids, brothers and sisters, all of them. I just saying bullying is not from kids. I have been bullied by a number of grown people as a child. I don't really have a definitive statement to make about the way I feel about bullying I just wanted to bring the subject up. I don't have a solution, nor do I have a way to make it stop, if I even want to make it stop. I was just thinking about it so I wrote about it. Maybe bullying is an issues maybe it’s not. I don't know how much I care. It's been a long time since I've been bullied. I’m used to standing up for myself. Might not be the best idea always but at least I can sleep at night knowing that I have my self-pride.

S2: Stalkery A Form of Flattery? Entry II of III

As in my last post I will be discussing love/relationships. This post also has to do with Hollywood's portrayal of love stories. I asked a question one time; can any form of stalking be a form of flattery? Having been stalked and having had my privacy violated, I want to be careful not to justify all forms of stalking but I wanted to pose the question from the stand point of pursuing a women. How much "finding out information", if any, is too much? In my mind finding out any information is a little creepy. I guess I should come up with a scale. That way I or you can say "finding out my phone number without me telling you is an 8 on the "creepy" meter". For those of you who don't know what creepy means, it means scary or inappropriate. So what is too much? Last names? Jobs? Hangout spots? Likes? Dislikes? Web pages? Schools? Ex's? Addresses? Or is it just anything that hasn't been told to you? I always think about the movie "Love Jones" when it comes to this subject. Lorenz Tate's character pursues Nina Long's character in my eyes as the most stalking way I've ever seen. Actually getting her address and going to her home. Nia Long’s character Instead of being terrified and calling the police let's this guy that she doesn't really know, in her house and thus the movie’s love story is born. I don't know if people think about that. But that was really something that really stuck out to me. Had that not of happened the movie would of never been. She rejected his every advance before that time. These are the movies that we were raised on. If your parents never taught you how to approach a women this would be your example and you would think it was ok to advance a women like this. Or is this the way that women want to be approached? Man that's scary to me. My sister has one time to tell me some crazy dude came to her house after she turned him down. Don't ya’ll remember "Player's Club" how that guy followed Diamond home and told her he was just making sure she got home safe Like he does every night. What's the difference? Is it cute to find out where you work and send flowers? These are real questions to me I want to know where the line is. I know where I stand on these questions but where does everyone else stand? And shouldn't it be universal answers? You think about it I know what I think.