This is 30 or The Soul of Hippie Shaun Boss Nigger

somewhere over the rainbow, Cali

       It's been a really really long time since I've really sat down and wrote, to tell you the truth I can't see myself sitting in front of a computer for too long like I used to. I'd rather be running my mouth to the people who like me until they hate me. I don't know what that's about but it's me. So I tried to write something like this the day before my birthday but it ended up being like an autobiography and I stopped because I don't have time to write all the trash that is my earlier life. I don't think the 80's were good for any nigga. Thank god for the Drug game 90's. And we had gangs, my type of decade, am I right?

      So I'm 30 and I guess I can say since I've been 26 I've been slowly dramatically changing my life and the world (I mean that's how you change the world, change yourself and there is a better person in the world.). The direction of my logic and philosophy hasn't changed much. I heard one time that we are being lied to also I heard that we are masters of our life and universe. I heard that all we needed was something to tap into this ocean of vibrations and energy. I heard that we were all born with a way to access this and the only requirement to achieve this is to believe. I tried all of your suggestions, I worked a lot of jobs; assemble line, bag groceries, retail, customer service, FDIC, Veteran Affairs, unemployment, Network Marketing, The United States Military, I went to school, I moved to do more of everyone's suggestions. I mean you just get so down and out and disparaged that almost any suggestion no matter how crazy it might seems just might work. I didn't wanna die and I didn't want to hate my life and myself for trying to maintain a life I hated. This is something that all my friends and all my family were/are doing. I'm not one to follow the crowd so I needed to break this cycle and I did. Thus enters Hippie Shaun/ Shaun Lamar, Someone who is a master of his life and the universe around him. I love everyone support but truthfully I believe in myself. I thank everyone out there who has allowed me to do me without restraints. I love making good Art that people love and feel ways about it. Emotions carry a lot of energy and vibrations, so think about that when your experience art and you feel a strong emotion. No matter what the art is, whether it’s a painting a news article or even comedy. Talking with one of my comedy friends we came to the conclusion that if you can offend comedians, you must be pretty good. I mean I think I’m pretty good, but it's because I believe in myself and my ability to create awesome shit for ya'll. So this is 30, doing whatever the fuck I want without many boundaries. I'm down to a small backpack of belongings and I couldn't be happier. I never worry about losing or having someone taking something from me. I don't have much else to say. Maybe I'll start writing again. I don't know, but you can believe that I won't stop doing art. I'm gonna figure out was to get all this stuff to you. In the mean time some of my new fans don't know about my old stuff and some of my old fans don't know about my new stuff. So if I can I’ll at least start promoting the older stuff mixed with the newer stuff such as; videos, blog post, Podcasts, poetry, and maybe some audio of my stand up. Alright it's time to end this I love you all who have love and to the ones that don't love, Fuck you, you really are the problem, see ya'll <3

#SFDope

Today on #SFDope we will have local rap and hip hop artists on the show for preformences and interviews, check out the links to their music

Equipto http://www.accesshiphop.com/store/?label=Solidarity+Records

Legends Live Forever http://legendsliveforever.net/

Johnny Kap https://soundcloud.com/johnny_kap_music

Monk McNizzle http://monkmcnizzle.com/

Soundearth http://soundearth.bandcamp.com/track/cant-stop-the-earth-from-growing

Promise

If I get to live and other people don't... than i'm going to really LIVE!!!!!

Future Presence or See you When I See You

I'll get back to this when I get a chance... meanwhile I'm working on wonderful things... so please bare with me and thank you for being so patient with me... it's always been said that greatness takes time... so give me some time :)

My Single Life or the Olivia Pope theory

freedom beyond these bars

There was something in me that told me maybe I should apologize for my last post as it was one or two sentences. The title was longer than the post (Lol). I decided against it because when I tried to write more I just erased it. It is a perfect post and I’m at a point right now where in every instance in my life I need to bleed my own true existence and that means I need to do everything that is “me” immediately. I’m working on being okay with who I am as a person

                Before moving to California and especially after living in Atlanta and New Orleans, I was very sure that I knew who I was. I didn’t know what my purpose was but knowing that I had a purpose to one day fulfill gave me confidence in who I was. When I got here with all my confidence and charm, slowly but surely, the person I thought I knew I was was slowly breaking down and disappearing. I left some things back in the south and it wasn’t just a storage full of memories and furniture. I left a world that I had known all my life, 20 something years was all I knew. I left chunks of myself there as well. So much so that people don’t even recognize my voice on the phone anymore. People I’ve talked to almost every day of my life. My own brother, who I grow up with, told me when he saw me that I look different, his actual statement was “Who are you, you don’t look like my brother”. That’s because I’m different from who I used to be, and I’m glad. Changing your life is not easy when there is no road map. (Speaking of change click here => Change: The Mad Scientist Effect Part 1 of 3 Mental Marauders)

                When I was in the South even though I accepted myself and accepted who I thought I was, others were not very receptive of whom I was. A question from an inquiring candidate (someone who was interested in me) really got me thinking about some things. The question she asked me was “Why are you single?” I’m pretty honest and I wanted to answer it honestly. She asked because she saw everything that I do and how I present myself, being goal ordinated and basically awesome (Not by my own admittance) she really wanted to know why no one has snatched me up yet. I gave her a satisficing answer but that didn’t stop me from thinking more about the question and it didn’t stop her from asking more questions. Another question asked was;  “How long have you been single?” my response was “Sheesh, It’s been a long time… (Pause for thinking)… like 6 years or something like that”. Way too long. There have been some interesting prospects but none were for me. The last person I was seriously interested in wanted me to wait and wait and wait until they were ready for a relationship. I feel like I put a lot in to whatever we were but at the end of the day I wasn’t getting enough out of it, even from a friendship’s point of view. I’m picky with the people around me, because I have to maintain a certain sanity in my life and sometimes I need not to be emerged in someone else’s bull shit. The reality was she just wasn’t that in to me and I’m cool with that. I’m a fan of keeping it real and not wasting time, which means if you’re not feeling me, move on and make some room in your life for the right person to fill that space instead of having Shaun Lamar temporarily in that spot thinking its permanent. That is just a thought. (I sound a little bitter huh, well maybe I am… lol) So the truth is I’m tired of being single. I’m at the point where I don’t even know how I act in a relationship because it’s been forever. I’m afraid that I may have become awkward. I have literary given up in the pursuit of a significant other. It’s tiring and the people I’ve been meeting just aren’t that great. There is no one even close to being Ms. D for Dramatic. If I talk to you and you think that we are something other than what we are this is in fact a wake up call. I’m a team of one right now and to tell you the truth that is exactly how it is going to be until someone shows me that they sincerely want to be a part of my world, maybe the center of it. Meanwhile I’m just going to work on myself and the different projects that I have lined up. People are always realizing, after being involved with me, that they love someone else so I always have house warming’s, weddings, and baby showers to go to. That’s just a little dark humor for you, even though it’s basically true and sad. The reality is I still have some changing to do before my life is ready to honestly support another person in it.

Hearts to Follow or Path of the Righteous

Following hearts on these highways <3

At every given point in my life i'm 3 days from leaving everything and changing my life denying the moments in the direction I was going. Sometimes the need to follow my heart is stronger than the need to follow the program or "The Right" path as some would say.

My life in CaliforYeah or Reorganized Noise

Port of San Francisco

                First off I would like to give a shout out to my home town, Montgomery Alabama, I wasn’t born there but I was raised in the south and I feel we should never forget where we came from, having said that, I feel it’s getting real hard to connect with a place I used to know, maybe it’s because I’m so far away, but to tell you the truth it’s hard for me to connect with my old self, the person who I knew I knew  I was, the person I used to be.

I can’t remember a time, while in Alabama, that I said “Boy do I love this place”. Besides having love for and having spirit for my high school and side of town I was from (Lee High School!!! EastsidE!!!!) I didn’t have much spirit or much love for Alabama.* I had a lot of love for the South but after living in some of the very best cities in 4 southern states I realized I didn’t like the South very much as I thought. I was ready to get out of the South and start a new life or just start my life in general

I’m an artist, I need an artist friendly city to live in. a city that wants to live it’s culture and breathe it’s residences. I came to California to live my life. I had no idea what was here I just was sick of my life in the Heart of Dixie and my life beneath the Mason Dixon line wasn’t getting any better. The spiral down was something to watch. I decided to change it. Freeing myself of my fears and all the things holding me back, which was myself. I had a habit of running to my comfort zone instead of trying to climb over walls and figure out ways around the bull shit that are the opportunities in the South. That comfort zone consists of hatred, jealousy, anger, suspicion, family, Alabama, negative criticism, insecurities, and self-doubt. Any time it would get hot in the kitchen I would run back to my comfort zone that I tried so hard to maintain.

My friend praying on the Bay

During this experience I’m learning a lot about myself and the world. I’m seeing that someone like me, with a head on his shoulders, has a responsibility to discover a better or a new way of living. We as a people should figure out where we are going wrong and fix it. Just like you as a human being work on yourself to become a better person, we should all work on creating a better environment and world for all of us. No matter the race, nationality or sex. We all want and search for the same things, we should just learn how to embrace each other and find what it is we’re seeking together. Two heads are better than one right? There is a world outside of the color of your skin and every day I live it. I love it. My perception of this world is exactly how my world is and so is yours. I stopped focusing on things that used to bother me and drive me nuts. Now it’s hard to even see those things exist. Not to say that my life is perfect and I shouldn’t work on myself. It’s not perfect and every day I continue to work on myself, my life, and the world around me. We can all act blind and try to ignore what is going on but don’t you want to make your life better and get into a position where you can possibly make someone else life better as well? It doesn’t take much to spread a little love every day, most people like smiles, Me on the other hand, I LOVE SMILES!!! Won’t be many time you see me without one on my face. The next time you are all flustered and upset about anything, take a minute to breathe and put a smile on your face and I promise you won’t be upset anymore, and if you are you will feel really silly with a bad attitude and a smile on your face.

I truly enjoy my life in California. Every day I do exactly what I want to do. Which is mostly exploring the city. One day my friend and I found a cave, it was pretty cool. I’ll make this statement today but don’t quote me on it; San Francisco is my home, I think it will be for the rest of my life. Now saying that I haven’t finished traveling yet nor have I lived in all the places I want to live in. I think my next destination will be Rome. Why Rome? Well I don’t know I just do what I feel. Will I live in Rome or just visit? Who knows? I have whole continents to explore and experience. I’m finding out what freedom really is and how much I used to limit myself and my experiences by making definite statement about things. That goes for everything in my life not just the things I think suck, even things I really enjoy.

My favorite time of the day in one of my secret spot

While I’m here in San Francisco I have somewhat of a plan, it’s more of a destination, but none the less it’s an achievable believable goal. So every day I’ll continue to work towards it and continue to grow my brands and have lots of fun while I’m at it. Also there will be temporary hold on all edited photos because I lost the phone that I used to do all that graphic design stuff on, so yeah if someone would like to donate an android tablet I would greatly appreciate, it can be the cheapest, I just need anything to work on. J

*I have a lot of love for southern FOOTBALL though #TeamWAREAGLE #TeamSEC