Mirror's Edge

I started to write a fairy tale that is my life, I wanted to name it honestly honesty, as in this is my real life as I see it right now. It was hard to write but I couldn't figure out why. Most of the time when I write these post seem to write themselves, I just put the words on the paper. Instead of trying to force an idea I’ll just write what is on my mind. For the past few weeks I have studying and looking at different lectures on youtube, Yeah I nerd out sometimes, but I don’t have a job and school is not an option right now so  I have to keep up the brain activity the best way I can. Most of the lectures have been about life and the way we precise it. I’m one of the first people the quickly yell about the law of attraction and quantum physics, unbeknownst to myself, these ideas and concepts have been slowly introducing and integrating themselves into my life. When I hear things now I understand them almost immediately because I’ve heard parts of it before, it’s crazy how life steers you a direction and us being oblivious look up and wonder how we got where we are. I feel like I’m in the movie “Revolver” where the main character Jake Green (Played by Jason Statham) applies this formula, these rules or guideline (the ultimate con) to his life and becomes everything he wanted. But before he could become who he was supposed to be he had to gain success in his mind only to lose it just to see what he was really supposed to become. If you’ve never seen it, go check it out, it has Andre3000 and it discusses the Ego in a since of it being a separate entity from your true self, which I believe to be true in some aspect. These past couple of weeks the physical has been breaking down to me and I have been able to see the spiritual side of things. This information has changed my perception of life and the direction my life is actually going in. I realize that we may reincarnate but I will never be a Shaun Lamar again. In that sense “YOLA” has a truer meaning to me. Knowing this fact, I will never be “Me” again, should take away all my fears and allow me to take more risk. Not stupid risks but risks that where before I was doubting myself and having an unrealistic expectation. I suffer from the “It can’t happen to/for me” disease, which is self-defeating before I even try. I guarantee that I’ve miss 100% of the shots I didn’t take. I’d get anxiety over decisions that I needed to make, not realizing that what I was anxious about wasn’t even real, the scenarios that I dreamed up in my head were not even reality. I can’t tell the future all I can do is speculate and in that since I should have no expectations. Most of the time I’m doing something for the first time and there is no way to know how something would turn out anyway. It is kind of arrogant of me to think that my life can’t be changed, that certain events can’t go my way. The truth is with this thinking nothing will go my way. At every given time our life is perfect, even in destruction it is a balancing of our energy pushing and pulling at all times. We are attracting our lives and we get exactly what we want no matter how conscious we are of it. The law of attraction is more than just wishful thinking; it’s more than just having a positive attitude, it’s truly believing in yourself and God (if you believe in god) and the process of life. We created this world and everything in it. It’s perfect and there is no reason to ever think that it will not be alright.