The EXist Factor, Can I Be Your Priority?

The thing about asking people who left you alone why they left you alone, is they want you to leave them alone. I've wrote about this before in another post about 6 or 7 months ago (Keeper) and I just don't know what the deal is. I can't keep people around. I'm really at a loss for words on the subject. My mom asked me the other day who do I talk to in my family and I told her that I didn't talk to anybody. She was a little shocked like most people are but the people who are shocked are the exact same as the people who they are shocked about. I hear it all the time your cool as hell how could you have trouble being around anybody, or who wouldn't want to be around you? But it always seems to be coming from someone who brushes me to the side as well for whatever reason. I tried to explain to my best friend one time that I'm nobody's priority. Would you like me to explain? Well I will. Your priority is what you give the most attention to. Your default person or your go to guy, girl, or whatever. If you never care about anybody you care about your priority. You call and check up on them and vice versa. If you never fuck with anybody on earth, you always know your priority is going to be there. Well all my priorities have other priorities. If I died today it wouldn't really matter. Yeah people would be sad but I would be an afterthought. What I'm saying is nobody's life would be over. I don't even think anybody would be devastated. People will try to refute these statements but if they think about it for real they know I'm right. Proof is how you could not have contact with your priority for a whole week or a month. A week is long. Anything could happen. Granite nothing to horrible ever does but its the principle of the whole thing. Maybe I care to damn much or maybe I just have my priorities messed up. But I cherish everything. Technology has made it so easy to check up on someone. A text, a tweet, facebook, anything just to let someone know you care for their well-being. But whatever. I'm kinda venting as well as trying to figure things out about myself in this post. What in me or my actions makes people run? I've ran before but I have reasons. I never seem to get reasons. I always hear the same shit; he's cool as hell, he's so funny, he's so sweet. And the fact is I already know this but that doesn't explain why you run. If the previous statements are facts then why wouldn’t you want that person there always? I'm tired of feeling the way I feel. I'm tired of people casually going in and out of my life. I really just want to close the door and say fuck everyone. And maybe that's the conclusion of the story or the cycle. Fuck everyone??